A couple years ago, I ended a poem I wrote with these lines,
It’s hard to say, I’ve had enough
and it’s hard to say, I am enough.
And then just recently, I shared one of the hardest posts I have written yet, “How I’m Real: The Rainy Days” in which I recounted a bad day I was having mentally. When I wrote down all the terrible things I was telling myself over and over again that day. They all pointed back to me feeling like I am not enough. So this theme of not being enough and doing enough has been lingering for years. I wasn’t sure how to help it.
About five months after that rainy day I had experienced in my mind and soul, I attended a conference at my church, the IF:Gathering. It sparked me. The creator of that organization and conference, Jennie Allen, was coming to my church a couple weeks later promoting and talking about her new book, Nothing To Prove: Why We Can Stop Trying So Hard. I read the flyer and immediately knew this was going to be something I needed.
With the purchase of the ticket, you received her book. After the event, we were able to meet her and have her sign our book. I was so excited and nervously made small talk with her and took my picture with her.
That night, I opened the cover to the book to see her autograph when my breath was taken from me. In it she wrote, He is enough! It was like she wrote down the answer I had been looking for and struggling to find on my own. I felt the power of that statement enter my heart.
Jesus. He was the enough for me.
I read the book and can honestly say my life has been impacted and I can feel my perspective changing. It’s really hard to describe and put into words. I am still processing, learning, and applying it to my life. But I can tell you, I have been feeling less stressed. I have had a better grasp on my emotions.
I can’t recommend this book enough to people, especially women, who suffer from striving, trying to measure up, and feeling like you aren’t enough over and over again.
I want to share some excerpts from the book that were powerful and stuck out to me. I mean I the whole book is amazing, but here are some of the extra sprinkles. 🙂
We are so often dragged along in the darkness, unable to save ourselves from our thoughts and from our shame and from our mistakes. We try to slap self-esteem tactics on our fears, but they don’t stick because, well…it’s true. We are not enough.
It would be a terribly depressing thought – if it weren’t followed by the most freeing truth in all eternity.
God knew we would never be enough. So He became enough for us. Jesus is our enough. – Page 67
Your are enough and you have enough BECAUSE I AM ENOUGH.
This is how our God works, but we have been functioning in a scarcity mentality. Rather than trusting in His abundance, we try to be enough and get enough as if there isn’t enough. And we are exhausted from trying to do all this on our own. – Page 132
I have been finding more and more that when I try not to have a tight grip on my life and certain aspects I am focusing on, things really start to happen.
This passage reminds me a lot of my How I’m Real: The Rainy Days post when I touched on the subject of social media and our highlight reels.
Yep. I sin. I am a sinner.
So many of our problems come when imperfect people try to act as if they have it all together. We all have been there. And what’s the result? We hide behind images we create of happy, clean, impressive lives. We are exhausted. Because if you create an image to hide behind, you’ll have to spend all your energy holding it up.
When the goal becomes being liked, no amount of approval ever feels like enough.
When the goal becomes a bigger platform, no platform ever feels big enough.
When the goal becomes more money, no amount of money ever feels like enough.
When the goal becomes success, no promotion or award or sales numbers will quite cut it.
And when the goal become being thin or beautiful, no number on the scale ever feels like you’ve finally arrived. – Page 192-193
Part of the sickness of our fight with enoughness is that it shifts our eyes from need to us. It shifts our eyes from people to us. If shifts our eyes from God to us. – Page 139
Do you want to know why we are so tired?
Because we don’t believe God. There is no remedy for your striving apart from finding your identity in Christ. He is your enough, and the degree to which you believe that is the degree to which you will stop striving, stop performing, stop trying to prove yourself. – Page 137
I’ve been really excited about how much I have been growing in my faith. It’s still a little scary for me to share here on the Interwebs. But this is a good step toward it, right? 🙂
We put out our dirt and we let Jesus wash it and then we go tell everybody about it. – Page 204
Jesus has been washing. 😉
With extra sprinkles (and an extra scrub) on top,
Picture with Jennie Allen!